Monday 14 April 2014

The 'H' word

Dear journal

I cannot go to bed tonight without sharing a wonderful experience with you.... but to start off - let me start from the beginning.

I have blogged about my involvement in a few groups that are shared with other women going through the same things that I am - regardless of where we live - we have one thing in common - our children are serving missions.... In fact, according to the latest church statistics - there are 83000+ missionaries currently serving in 405 missions!! Logic then dictates there are 83000 mothers out there that think a lot like I do.... isn't that amazing??
 
We aren't exactly the same - my own family will tell you that I am my own kind of crazy:-) But we love our children and we pray for them, and worry over them from day 1 through to finish day, from the day we drop them off - to the day we run into their arms at airports, and other meeting places at the end of their service.....
 
And in between that we have high highs, frustrations, hurts, heaps of tears, lows, joys, and every other conceivable emotions.... and even though these are shared emotions they are felt so differently as parents at home and as missionaries somewhere else completely.... The emotional connection and physical affection has to be expressed in other ways and it is hard.....
 
One of the things that I am finding as a mother, is trying to support my sons while they are so far away.... especially combatting the 'H' word - homesickness. I miss my sons, and sometimes forget that they actually miss home sometimes as well. My sons have both felt, on occasion and to different people said the same thing about home - and it makes me worry a little. It's not that I don't have faith - because that is just not true. If I didn't have faith that my sons are in the Lord's hands - distance would mean nothing and I would move heaven and heaps of overdraft accounts to get there ;-).... Instead, I have a shared mother's worry that her children are alright - thoughts and feelings that sit in the back of my head and occupies my thoughts and conversations now and then.... All of which are my prerogative as a mother ;-) well, that's my story and I'm sticking to it....
 
In these other MMs forums that I am in, homesickness is talked about often and every time someone brings up the "H" word - the responses come thick and fast, all educational, informative and inspirational. I observe and am learning as we go along.  this is one of my strongest weapons to understand and treat the 'H' word. Found in the words and experiences of other missionary mums -  I observe, I listen, and I learn.... love being a missionary mother!!
 
These mothers who I am sharing this journey with are amazing and are a force to be reckoned with. I have had mothers who I have never known or know very little - but love eternally - who have supported my sons while they were in the Provo MTC. I have had mothers in an email group I am apart of - tell me exactly what it is like in the areas where my sons serve, giving advice on the food, sickness, and mosquito nets!
 
What can I do as a mother sooooo far away? My biggest defence weapon against the 'H' word and others like it is Mr M. Mr reminds me about what it is like out there on a mission and then he supports the boys through emails and letters. He gives them practical advice and anecdotes that they use. They turn to him and ask him questions and it has been beautiful to watch - this bond between father and sons..... so I don't worry too much.
 
In addition to that, my sons are in every prayer that we offer up. It's very simple but every thing helps. Our prayers are specific to each missionary son, and we ponder what we are going to be saying and tailor our focus to their needs.... Going to the temple and putting their names on the prayer roll can never be underestimated. My son, wrote once, that he knew he received something positive in his week because his parents were praying for him....

One thing we have found, especially with the boys being in a foreign land - their want for more family photos have been a popular requests.... So I send photos of our family all the time, quirky and different and in every letter... Along with those are NZ memorabilia - the latest request -something with the Hobbit on it ;-)  I even sent them with a Vision Board so they can always see it....

Now, back to my story..... today a tender mercy was extended to me and one of my missionary boys today. My son is working hard and having some beautiful experiences, and loves the members.... Recently, he has been feeling a little down, after having lost some good friends during a transfer. He is going through this emotional time, on top of having no power and intermittent use of water for weeks, and finding little relief from the heat, trying hard to learn a language he so desperately wants to learn and with a training companion who is exact in all things. Is he worried? Definitely not - he ended his letter saying that things are hot and God is good!!..
 
Well, tonight a sweet MM, emailed me and let me know that she made contact with an old YSA friend in the Dominican Republic who happens to be in my son's ward.... and today at church - and she passed my only message to him - "your mother loves you!"
 
Little did my MM friend (we have never met!) know that the message was given to the very son who has been a bit sad to lose his friends in a transfer and feeling the H word a little.....I cried when she emailed me and I thanked her so much for the sweet message would have made my son's day. He would have gone to bed tonight knowing, hearing for himself that his mother all of 8,350 miles away from him - loves him dearly....
 
The MM force is one to be reckoned with, and I know it is only a matter of time that combined, like my son, all 83000+ missionaries will know they are loved by people at home because everyone is doing their bit where they can - in front of them, one step at a time and slowly the 'H' word can be treated quickly because we are all MMs!!
 
I love being a missionary mama...
 
Mxo
 
 

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