Monday 18 November 2013

The best kept secrets of preparing a Missionary....

Dear Journal,

Every time, and this is without fail, I have been in a Missionary farewell Sacrament meeting, watching and listening to mothers and fathers with their missionary sons and/or daughters giving their farewell talks - I have been in awe. I have had a tummy full of butterflies fluttering away in there - every time! I have sat and marvelled at how 'together' the mothers are - and although there are tears - they were composed and look sensational, happy and spiritually fulfilledl!
 
In my mind, I would think - how awesome they had been in their preparation and find myself being motivated and inspired to be just like that when my sons would be missionaries. I would decide then and there to make changes or continue doing the things that I was doing right (fluke!!) to be a great missionary mother....
 
That was, until the beginning of this year - when I heard the truth...
 
I thank my friends D & C, who I met in the temple one day after taking their son through for his own endowment before serving his mission in Ghana, Africa. Africa of all places!! As you do, I went to congratulate the parents, and I talk about how they were feeling and they told me the truth! They were struggling. D had been crying for days. They were worried, anxious, sad and happy, excited and all those feelings in between. They told me that they had prepared all their son's life to serve a mission. All the focus of their parenting and all they did as a family was geared towards teaching their sons to be good missionarys.
 
But, what they had discovered, and it has to be one of the church's best kept secrets, is that nothing prepares you as a parent. No one prepares you or gives you a 'heads up' about the emotions of parents letting missionaries go, or explains the feelings around the 'sacrifice' of children a mother experiences as she watches her child leave for another country, new people, away from home. I have never forgotten those conversations and am sooooo grateful for D and C for telling me the truth. Now its my turn - and although I was aware of this plethora of emotions that would come from being a Missionary Mama, I have only come to appreciate more fully what they were talking about now... and even then - I have still been surprised at the amount of raw emotions involved in saying goodbye!!
 
The other thing that I thought watching families during their family presentations was the togetherness and happiness of the family - it was so beautiful to watch.
 
Again, that was until another friend told me the truth.....
 
I thank my friend S, who is sending out her second son (within 12 months) to serve in the Phillipines this weekend. What I love about our relationship (known each other for over 30 years) is that she keeps every conversation real so missionary preparation was truthful and I am grateful for it. She talked me to me about the challenges and difficulties at home with her sons leading up to their departure and I was so shocked and surprised. I thought that as this was the most exciting time of your sons life and in the family's journey - that things were 'rosy' and spiritual, full of joy, kindness and happiness.... 
 
So, with her little chats, I was aware that things were going to get a bit testy - but I had no idea just how much. Satan does not want my sons to serve their mission! That is the truth, so he is trying his hardest to break the only thing he has over my sons, and that is the very core of their universe - our family. Our family, since receiving the boy's mission calls in the beginning of October (and it is only November) leaving in January have already been battered and tested, relationships frayed, tears spilt, and anguish harboured, all during a time when it should be the most exciting of our lives! For a split second I have even wondered if we will get to the January 13 MTC date... AND although deep down - we will, and these missions will happen - getting there is not a path of blossoms and fairy dust....
 
It is no wonder, I often hear mothers express a sense of relief when their bundle of joys get on the plane, or get to the MTC, or even one of my friends just recently say she couldn't wait until her son leave (to which I was shocked at the time - but not so much now ;-).... and now I know why - being a Missionary Mama is not for the weak and faint hearted!
 
Seven weeks to go!!

Mxo                                                                                                                                

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